


Moments of Life

by sophfitzos



Category: The Infernal Devices, The Mortal Instruments, the dark artifices
Genre: F/F, F/M, Family, Gen, Multi, Relationship(s), Sibling Love, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 08:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3685965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophfitzos/pseuds/sophfitzos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>four one-shots of the LA life. Emma and Jem find each other. Tessa and Jem enjoyed the pleasures of LA. Jules longs for Helen. Emma and Jules always find their way to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Emma, Jem and Tessa & Emma and Julian

She saw them but they were so oblivious to the rest of the world that she didn’t bother to try to be discreet about eavesdropping. Cameron had gone looking for some beers leaving her to find a place to sit. She always enjoyed bonfires and this one promised to be nice.

She was alone for now and her gaze had stopped on the couple pushing each other, almost dancing right on the edge of the sea. It was Jem, as he told her to call him and Tessa. They were still a mystery to her. She knew they had come to LA and she had seen them in the institute sometimes, they even talked to each other a few times. Emma liked them. Julian was more careful around them, not knowing as much as he wished to. Ty had a fondness for Tessa, who enjoyed chatting with him about things Emma didn’t try to understand while Jem took his time to pet Church. Yes, she liked them. She was just waiting for something, even though she didn’t quite figure out what it was.

'They are beautiful' Emma thought.

She remembered well enough her parents being in love and she has noticed that being fond of someone never failed to give her a kind of glow, but Jem and Tessa were more than that. She often saw Tessa looking at him while his attention was on something else and the glow came at once, only so much brighter, as if the simple fact of him standing next to her, breathing the same air as she was, was worth hundreds of treasures, thousands of lives.

“Yes, they are beautiful” Emma murmured. He was now holding Tessa in his arms and tried to push her even farther in the sea, their laughter so fresh and joyful.

“What were you saying?” Cameron asked her while handing her a beer.

“Nothing” she smiled at him, bringing him down around her, so that she could rest her back against his chest. “hmm, this is nice” Emma said after a while and Cameron tightened his arm around her just a little more. 

 

*

The bonfire had met Emma’s expectation for the night perfectly. She was now only dreaming of a bed and a peaceful night of sleep. But instead of going to her own bedroom she thought better.

“Em?” Julian mumbled in a sleepy voice. “Go back to sleep” she whispered, finding a spot to lay down next to him.

“How was your night?” he still asked. “Nice, it was really nice” she yawned.

“I saw Jem and Tessa”

“Yeah?”

“They were so beautiful, Jules”

“They always are”

“I hope I’ll know that kind of love someday” she said as she pulled more of the blanket to her and shifted to find her sleeping position. She felt Jules taking her had and draw ‘m-e-t-o-o’. His touch calmed her as always, and brought her to sleep almost right away. 

 


	2. Emma and Jem, Tessa and Julian

She hasn’t seen him yet. Her attention was on Dru and Tavvy playing with the sand. They weren’t at risk but he noticed some tension in Emma’s posture that showed that if anything would happen to them she was ready to act. Jem could very well understand that need to protect the loved ones from every menace. He knew what it was to lost all family and be lucky enough to be given a chance to have a new one, and so to refuse to let anything ruined that chance.

He was closed enough now for her to hear him. “Emma” he simply said.

She turned her head around, and the surprise to see him was quickly replaced by a shy smile. “Hi there”.

Jem took a step closer and sat down on the sand, not far from her but not too close either. He removed his boat shoes and pushed his feet under the sand, still not used to the warmth and the sensation of it on his skin. He smiled at such a simple and new pleasure and when he looked up, he caught the grin that appeared on Emma’s face.

"Nice, isn’t it?” she asked shyly.

“Unique, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, the stillness of the sea at sunset, the burning of the sun, the warmth of the air, it’s like…”

“Being in an oven but in a nice way”. Both their smile deepens at that weird comparison but their eyes never quite met each other, the shyness still very present. 

Emma’s attention went back to the children while the silence set in. It wasn’t uncomfortable for say, but it wasn’t the kind of silence people shared out of confident friendship either.

 

“They mean a lot to you don’t they?” Jem asked after a while, looking at Tavvy splatting Dru now that they were in the sea.

“Not too far” called Emma. She risked another glance at him while he was still focused on them.

“They are my family” she simply answered.

“But you do not share the same name. You are a Carstairs” he added in a careful voice, his gaze still focus in the children.

“A family is not about the name” she told him sharply already standing up and walking to the sea but he was as fast as she was. He caught her arm, stopping her from flying away from him.

“Emma” he breathed in. “Emma, please forgive me, I didn’t mean to offend you." One difficult breath. "All those years... That silence I lived in... Sometimes I forgot how sharp words can be, how untrustworthy they are for me. Will would…”. He stopped himself at that name. One more breath to calm himself. “I am sorry Emma. I only wanted to… Can you see how words are failing me, I wish I had…”.

His face was changing with all the emotions seizing him. The affliction of causing her offense, the sadness of the name Will, the pleading for her to forgive him, the irritation towards himself. 

For anyone else, she would have said ‘go to hell’ and be done with it, but there was something in Jem that made her curious at first and only appealed to her when she thought about it.

His hand left her arm and their eyes finally met. “How did you know that my name was Emma Cordelia?” Emma softly asked, remembering the night in Alicante.

“I…”. Jem’s glance was once again elusive. “You wore the name of your mother but it was also the name of someone else. I knew her a long time ago. She would have been proud to see you bear her name. In some way, I think you share her temper and her grace in battle”.

“But that is not your question” he said finding her eyes. “Carstairs have always been a closed family to my heart.”

Each word truly seems to be difficult to him. Emma sensed that he was trying to choose carefully each one of them. For her, they were so common, she never really cared about them. No one has ever teached her how important they were, how powerful they could be. And yet now, his struggle only shew how solemn the moment was. She could also feel it in the raising of the hair on her arm, on the shivering sensation in her back, on the words her lips would not say. She knew now. In fact, to be honest, she always knew since that night but she could only see it and accept it now. And maybe words weren’t the right way for them to find each other.

Holding his gaze, she took a step closer. Her left hand, wearing her voyance rune, slowly rised until it touched his scarred cheek. When their skin met, silent tears falled.

“I know what you’re trying to say” she barely succeed to tell him. His eyes closed.

When he opened them again, minutes of silence had passed. There was no more sadness, only hope.

“I’m James Carstairs" he smiled with confidence. He locked his eyes in hers. "I want to be part of your family, Emma, if you’re willing to let me in. I want to be here for you for the time of this life”.

 

*

Tessa was trying to look at them as much as Tavvy and Dru let her. Both of them were so happy to have found someone they both could splatch without any complains from her. Catching her breath, she saw Emma in the tight arms of Jem. She could only imagine how alive he must be feeling right now. She knew how much sufferance a Carstairs could bear in silence was relieved that both of them were relieved of some of now. 

“What are you doing here?” Julian asked surprising her.

“She’s letting her splatching her, Julian, she’s nice” Dru said running to him and hugging him.

Tessa smiled at the cheerfulness of the girl. “I wanted to see how Jem was doing” she said turning her gaze towards her lover and Emma. They were smiling shily at each other, chasing away the tears off their cheeks

Julian’s heart clenched. Everything thing Emma felt, he felt it too. Every moment of happiness, sadness, anger and excitement of her were his as well.

“She found her as much as she found him, I believe” Tessa said after a moment.

Her own face was full of emotions and Julian was very good at reading people’s feelings. The love he could see on her face unsettled him, it was too strong, too powerful, too bright. How could she, tiny as she was, still stand and not be devoured by it? The question was forgotten as soon as he saw Emma and Jem walking towards them.

“He won’t let her down, will he?” he hurried to ask Tessa before they could hear him.

Tessa smiled while looking at his face. A secret beautiful smile that Julian would have loved to be able to catch on a canva.

“I have yet to see a Carstairs fails one’s expectations” she answered.

Dru chose that time to take Tessa’s arm and bring her further into the sea. Their laughs were soon joined by Tavvy and Jem’s ones while Emma find her way in the arm of Julian, feeling lighter than she had since a long time, her hand  finding comfort in the hold of Jem’s.


	3. Emma, Will and Jem & Tessa and Jem

Jem had been at the institute all morning. His visits there have become more and more frequent as he now wanted to be closer to Emma. Sometimes he just wandered around and pet Church. Sometimes he took part in the trainings with Julian, Emma and Livia. He also enjoyed sitting next to Tiberius and could stay silent for hours while the boy was lost in a book or on the internet. Drusilla and Octavian were not forgotten and Jem always tried to take time to play with them or if couldn’t, bring them treats as an apology.

 

This afternoon however, Emma found him in the training room, all alone except for Church who had fallen asleep on his laps. The room was full of sun, warm and bright with Jem sat in the middle of it. His eyes were closed, his breathing so light that it was hard to catch the movement of it. What caught Emma’s eye was the silver parabatai rune that was almost shining with the touch of the sun on it. She had seen it before, she knew that it means he lost his own parabatai and she was profoundly sad for him because to lose a parabatai was to lose a part of you.

She could not imagine a world without Jules. He was the one who kept her attached to life when she had lost her family. He was the one who understood her as if they were one. He was the one she reached for when she needed comfort. He was the one she instinctively looked for to share a smile or find a strategy in the fight. He was everything to her, she could not lose him without losing herself, she thought. And yet Jem had lost his parabatai. How could he bear it to have lost his parabatai? To wake up in a world every day without feeling completely himself? How could that not devour him from the inside? How much sadness can he be bearing?

"When we suffer, we survive” the words of her father came to her.

 

“Emma?” Jem soflty called, having opened his eyes and seen her in the threshold. At the sound of his voice, Church woke up and moved himself to get even closer to Jem, looking for more petting.

“His name was Will, right?” Emma asked in a small voice, her thoughts still on the meaning of the silver scar.

Confusion and sadness came on Jem’s face as he heard the name of his parabatai. Emma reached her own collarbone, where his rune had faded to show him from where the name came. Jem smiled a little as he brought his fingers to the rune and traced the shape of it.

"Oh..." he whispered, closing his eyes and half smiling. "Yes his name was Will. William Herondale.”

Emma was surprised by this full name. Her mother and father had read his aventures to her so much before kissing her goodnight.

“You know him don’t you?” Jem’s smile got bigger at the suprise he saw on her face. “See Will, how even years later, you are still famous” Jem told to the empty room except for the two of them. Or maybe the three of them.

Emma liked that for Jem, that his parabatai was here with him, even though no one else could feel his presence. She joined him in the center of the room, slowly got down on her knees and before sitting in front of him, she too traced the shape of the rune.

 

 

*

He had enjoyed the afternoon, the silence of the training room, the comforting presence of Church on his lap and then the appearance of Emma. Talking about Will, telling her about their adventures has been a nice moment for them. He found that when he was talking about him, he could feel the presence of his parabatai even more than in other times and that feeling meant so much.

  
He was back to their flat now. He could see Tessa on the bed, again lost in a book. She must have heard him since he had not been particularly discreet but she didn't let herself got distracted from her read. He joined her on the bed, looked for the title of the book (it was one of E. Wharton again) and set himself to finally get her attention.

One of the things he liked the most in LA was the warm weather you could not escape. He saw the fine perspiration on her sternum, and put his fingers right there, her skin wet against his. She must have been lying there on the bed for hours, not even bothering to refresh herself. He felt her heartbeat, already growing stronger as his other hand had came to her breast…

“Jem stop it! I want to read some more” she said, moving away from his touch, her eyes still firmly fixed on the book.

“Do you?” he asked teasingly while he rose and put himself between her arms and the book, forcing her to let the book go away from her glance. He gently kissed her on the same spot. Her heartbeat was now even faster than before, his hands teasing her body.

“I can stop now if you want me to” he said between two kisses. She sighed, it was only out of pleasure and he knew it.

“Could you, really?” she managed to say after a while.

At that his hands stopped and he found her eyes. She could see the laugh in his eyes and a boyish grin, that she quickly removed with a passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: could not resist not writing some jessa cute fluff...


	4. Julian and Helen, Emma and Julian

He wasn't late for once. They said that they would facetime at 9pm and there were still a few minutes to wait before seeing her on the screen. 

He was alone. He would call the others as soon as Helen would appear. But he was alone for now.

He missed her. He missed her more than everyone he lost and probably more than everyone he could lose. Well except for Emma. He missed her, every morning at breakfast when he tried to feed everyone with fresh fruits and healthy cereals. He missed her when he saw Livia growing up so fast while he couldn’t  figure out who she needed him to be. He missed her when Dru and Tavvy did stupid things and he couldn’t bring himself to chastise them. He missed her every time Ty rejected him. He missed her when Emma was out, doing Raziel knows what and he wished he could follow her instead of staying in and keeping an eye on his siblings. He missed her at night when he wished he could share the heavy burden he could feel on his shoulders.

He missed her genuine smile, her singing laugh, her strength. He missed her beautiful face so much that sometimes he spent hours trying to paint it without succeeding.

He missed his older sister.

He missed Mark too of course, but he didn’t need him as much as he needed Helen. She had been with him forever. She had always been a calm reassuring force in this stormy life he had.

 

He checked the time, 8.59pm. Helen was always on time. He had to get hold of himself before she could see him like that. Because no matter how much he missed her, he knew that she was suffering as much as he was and probably feeling guilty not to be with them, even if they all knew she wasn’t the one to blame. And he couldn’t add to her suffering. He needed to keep everything to himself in order to protect the others.

And just as he was rummaging his hands through his hair, Helen’s call came in. “Smile, dickead” he murmured to himself before accepting the call.

“Hey there, how are you?” he asked cheerfully. Helen was already smiling. Her smile made him feel better even if it came from thousand miles away.

He called for the others to come in. They all arrived at once, a storm of dark brown hair kids, screaming of excitement.

Emma came in right after them. She went directly to Julian, smoothing the tension off of his shoulders instinctively.

“How are you all doing?” Helen’s voice matching the joy of the faces she knew so well and missed so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought it would be the last one but i'm pretty sure it isn't so if you enjoyed reading those 'moments of life', just come back in a few weeks and there might be more of those :) thanks for all the readings and the tags on tumblr, it was very exciting to see that 'this thing i wrote' actually got hits and was actually read (?????), so thank you, hope you have a good april month :)

**Author's Note:**

> this is only my second at writing fanfiction and this is the first time i'm brave enough to publish it, so please be kind. english isn't my first language so i guess that there are a bunch of grammatical mistakes and my writing style might be a bit awkward too, so again, please be kind. 
> 
> by publishing it, i just wanted to enjoy reading some insights of the LA life while waiting twelve more months for the released of TDA. i'm really fond of any jem/emma interactions and i tried to write them as faithfully as i could. ijules and emma are endgame but i'm also craving for not romantic writings about them so that's why, she's dating cameron and there are not all over each other even if it tried to make everyone of their interactions counts.
> 
> ok, i need to stop my non-sense rumbling now. hope you enjoy it. cheers. PS: there might be more to come, not sure yet.


End file.
